Wednesday, 6 February 2013

My sister breaks my fathers heart

So as I mentioned before Big Sis has major issues with Dad - they revolve around things that happened when we were growing up and she has never managed to get over it and move on.
This resulted in her stopping two of her kids, who live with their father, going on the trip of a lifetime to Disney World with Dad and his girlfriend and her family.  Now Big Sis has decided that these two kids can no longer stay overnight with Dad.  She has blackmailed her ex husband into agreeing with this.  Knowing Big Sis she probably threatened to take the kids away from their father if he didn't agree. Big Sis is extremely manipulative and controlling and would stoop to just about anything to get her own way.
Dad found out yesterday from the kids father.  The kids father didn't want to do this but he is terrified of what Big Sis will do and feels he has no choice.  Dad understands this but is devastated.  He loves those kids and would never do anything to hurt them but he is being punished because Big Sis can't stand that he has a better relationship with them than she has.
Apparently after seeing the kids on Monday (which he does every week) Dad came home and spent all Tuesday in bed.  His girlfriend is worried about him and so are Twin and myself. 
I am furious with big sis.  After everything that Dad did for her when she was drinking and everything that he does for those children this is how she repays him.  Dad is now scared to argue with her in case she stops him seeing the kids at all.
She hasn't been in touch with Twin or me yet but when she does she will get an earful. Not that it would make any difference.  
When we found out last night my reaction was anger I wanted to go up to Dundee and punch her.  Twin was really upset and burst into tears.  Big Sis is so lucky to have those kids and family support yet she doesn't appreciate it.  She treats all her kids like property and will exclude or ignore anyone who has a good relationship or who her kids show any preference for.  She even told me once that her kids were none of my business, cause I am just their Aunt.
My major problem with the whole thing is that Dad has never once put those kids in danger, the only person that has is big sis.
She was the one that choose to keep drinking and not get help when it was needed.
She was the one that choose to abandon her children and move to Dundee knowing that she wouldn't see them as often.
She showed up drunk to important events in their lives or choose not to see them at all after raising their hopes. 
She doesn't contribute to their upbringing despite that fact she is their mother.
She emotionally manipulates them and that is going to cause them problems in later life.
She has already told the boy that when he comes to stay with her he will have his own room. She is clearly going to go for custody despite not having the resources to support them.  If she takes them to Dundee we will probably never see them again.  I have already decided to support her ex husband if it comes down to that.  I would stand against her and give evidence that she is an unfit mother if needed.
In contrast Dad contributes to their upbringing. Dad was the one that bought big sis a house in the village where they live so she could see them.  Dad shielded them from the worst of their mothers behaviour and Dad was the one that dealt the most with Big Sis and tried to get her help but Big Sis conveniently forgets that.
I also suspect that my mother is behind some of this.  She had been having a right go at dad before she got sick and has probably been spewing venom about him to big sis and encouraging her to go ahead with this.  She is out of the hospital after having her gall bladder removed and has already started making demands on Twins time. She has also conveniently forgotten the reasons for the fight and what she said to me.  Usual rubbish she either denies it happened or doesn't remember so doesn't have to deal with it and just expects me to cave, which isn't going to happen.
Twin is speaking to her today and is going to ask her about the situation with big sis.  If mum says she agrees or has been helping her make the decision Twin is going to stop all contact. 
Looks like major family strife for the future

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