Tuesday, 12 March 2013

Mothers day and Snow

Sunday was Mothers day and as such the Twin and I were expecting some form of drama from the other mother.  Since we have both stopped speaking to her it has been quiet but she usually won't let that happen for too long before she pulls some sort of stunt to try and get us back into her control.  All day long we were on edge but nothing happened!  No texts, no messages to say I know we aren't speaking but you could have at least sent a card, no phone calls from Big Sis to say Mum was ill.  It was quite shocking. 
I know she is alive though because she posted on cousins facebook page - called her the wrong name too.
It got me thinking of mothers day's past.  When we were younger she would drop huge hints about mother's day.  We would make cards and things to give her but she expected to be spoiled the whole day.  Now I know you are supposed to spoil your mother on mothers day but the way our mum carried on about it, she seemed to expect much more than a normal kid would do for their mother.  Also if the slightest thing went wrong she would storm off to her bed in a huff after first telling us what a horrible family we were and how she did everything for us and was it too much to expect one day were we did something for her.  I even remember her being slightly annoyed when we would do something for our grand mothers on those days, because it was all supposed to be about her.
When we got older and after dad had left she got worse.  Now we were doing most of the housework and cooking but she insisted that she still did the majority of work.  She would then demand expensive presents for mothers day and god forbid if the card wasn't up to scratch.  I wouldn't have minded buying her a nice bunch of flowers and a box of sweets but that was never enough, she wanted CD's and books, kitchen equipment , perfume and things that cost much more than most people would spend for mothers day and if these things were bought she would then also expect the flowers and chocolate as well.
A couple years ago we stopped buying the expensive things and just bought the flowers and chocolate and there was always the feeling from her that this wasn't enough.
This year I am glad we didn't have to do anything and I am glad there was no drama but I don't think this is the end of it.
The other thing that happened was quite a lot of snow this weekend and that reminded me of some other things she used to do.  Whenever we had bad weather without fail we would get a text, usually quite saccharine, about how horrible it was and how careful we had to be.  Sounds nice doesn't it.  However this would always be followed up during the day with demands that we then brave the bad weather to get things for her.  So she wanted us to be careful and safe but only if it didn't interfere with her needs.  If we said no she would whine and plead and beg and talk in a baby voice till we gave in.  This was worse if there was a good reason for us not to go, for example the car had broken down or one of us was ill.  She would insist that we still had to do whatever errand she wanted us to do.  The annoying thing is that it was usually something that she could have arranged herself.  For example if she need a prescription picked up - the chemist delivers, if she needed shopping  - she could have arranged it online but she always waited till she was completely out before putting in an order so we would have to go.
So we would come out of a long day at work, get whatever it is she wanted and go to drop it off and then even though she knew we would be tired she would insist we stay to chat and then get offended when we wanted to go, of course before we could go we had to do 3 more things for her.  Usually all things she could have done herself.
But that is typical of mum and it was all about trying to control us and our lives.
So that's too areas of drama that I am relieved I don't have to deal with now we have cut her out but there are still danger areas to come.  Easter is at the end of the month and her mother is supposed to be coming for a visit and then its her birthday in August.  All perfect opportunities for a bit of trauma.

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