So I am at work and my mobile phone rings. Its the Other Mother. She immediately starts crying and insists that I need to come see her now! I ask whats wrong and she says (crying the whole time) that she is till in terrible pain and the Doctor is coming out and I need to come see her. When i ask for more detail she says never mind and hangs up the phone.
I start to email Twin (who can't speak - bad cold, possible infection) and then get a phone call from a member of her team. Mum has phoned them and they are worried as Twin is in meeting can I call her. I explain and then mobile rings again - mum. She can't get Twin and needs me to come out. I explain that I can't get out and that I don't think she is ill. She was fine enough at the weekend to see niece and nephew and to harass Dad. She goes off on one and before I can explain my position the phone is hung up once more.
I then text her Mum if you are not going to be rational then stop calling me. First you had the winter vomiting bug for 3 weeks which isn't possible because it is a 48 hour bug. Then you had that infection and now you are saying that the antibiotics aren't working. Yet they were working well enough for you to see the kids and to harass dad. I don't believe you are physically ill but I do believe you are mentally ill and need help. I am sorry but you need to deal with this yourself and leave us alone
Twin then calls, whispering down the phone, I explain whats happened and what I texted.
Twin sympathises but doesn't want to get caught in the middle which is fair enough. However she does text mum to ask what she wanted.
Twin then gets a call from Mum (who knows she can barely speak). Mum forces a highly reluctant doctor to tell her mum has kidney infection and needs antibiotics. Mum then hangs up. Twin texts her to say thanks for the call but why did the doctor phone as she all she asked was what was wrong, and that she told me. Also that any issues she has with me she needs to take up with me.
Twin then receives a series of texts from Mum blaming me and trying to pull Twin into argument. She also blames Dad for stuff at weekend and says that she never harassed him but asked about his health and stuff. What she did do was phone him and be really nasty to him (he hung up twice) and demand the kids be taken to hers as they only came to see her. She also says that the infection (which was a urinary tract, and then a kidney and now a urinary tract infection) has got worse and this doctor (who has never seen her before) knows everything. Twin texts her back a nice neutral text and then eventually gets a text asking if we want to stick to truce. I text mum and say the truce was before Christmas and the fight then and not about anything that is happening now and that I want no further contact.
Mum asks for what she has done wrong and I give her a list. She then tries to blame Dad and Big Sis for everything and acts like she is the perfect mother (far from it).
While this is all going on Twin is getting texts pressing her to pick a side - she asks for space but Mum keeps pushing. She eventually agrees to give her space, however in the same text she admits to having hallucinations (manic episode anyone).
I eventually text that as far as I am concerned I have no mother and she still has to have the final word - that she doesn't care anymore.
I don't respond. I do text Big Sis and Dad to give them warning of the impending storm.
What happens next - we can only guess
Tuesday, 8 January 2013
Sunday, 6 January 2013
And so it begins
So as predicted Mommie Fearest has been getting worse. First there were the random texts which were trying to find out if Twin and I were sicker than her (we have colds) and every detail of our lives which we dealt with, but on Thursday I get a call about lunch time. First their is the dramatic pause for breath then she begins sobbing down the phone. She no longer has the winter vomiting bug but now has an urinary tract infection and is in soooooooo much pain and has been for two days, despite the fact she texted twin to say she was fine the day before. She needs us to go get her prescription. Now the doctor was just at her house and he could have sent the prescription to the chemist but no we have to come and get it, then go to the chemist and then deliver her meds. I agree but as Twin and I are both sick she has to leave it outside her door and we will pick up and drop off the same way. All goes well but I barely even get a thank you.
Next day Twin gets angry text why didn't we tell her niece and nephew were coming. We didn't know so that's what Twin tells her. We hear no more about it. However we get texts the day after saying they had been at her house and had lots of fun and nephew said she was the best Nanny in the world (which I find hard to believe as he always finds her a bit scary). On Sunday we see dad and it turns out she had phoned him really early waking everyone up and demanded that they come and see her because they had only come through to see her. She was apparently very nasty. I would have told her to go to hell but Dad agreed. Dad was annoyed but we all agree she is ill but not physically but mentally.
Twin and I didn't see her but I am not looking forward to it because if she mentions Dad there will be a fight because I will defend him.
Monday, 31 December 2012
Trouble for New Year
So yesterday the Twin recieves a text from mum. It is accusing me of not sticking to the truce as I haven't responded to one text. Instead of telling her to sort it out with me Twin asks me to text her. First I haven't broken truce by not responding to one text and she has by raising it but we won't go there. I dutifully text and all seems well but this morning I get a text in which she calls me by a name I have hated since I was a little kid. I text back asking her not to call me that as I have always hated it as she knows and I get a text saying she didn't know!!!!
Now I have always told everyone who calls me by this name not too since I was six and she says she didn't know that. Either she hasn't been paying attention for the last 30 years or she doesn't care. Anyway tempted to respond with the above but don't or I would be seen as starting a fight.
The real issue is that twin and myself are actually sick - with a cold (big deal), but her sickness is clearly made up. She is still saying she has the winter vomiting bug however I looked it up on NHS 24 and it only lasts forty eight hours and she has supposedly had it for three weeks. She can't stand the fact that someone else will get more attention then her so her illness has to be worse. I have had enough and I don't want to play nice anymore.
I have also found out that she has told dad that she wants no contact with him anymore. He is thrilled but she couldn't do it without accusing him of some horrible things.
My prediction for the new year is that she will try to pick a fight with me and turn my sisters against me. It is now time to wait and see
Now I have always told everyone who calls me by this name not too since I was six and she says she didn't know that. Either she hasn't been paying attention for the last 30 years or she doesn't care. Anyway tempted to respond with the above but don't or I would be seen as starting a fight.
The real issue is that twin and myself are actually sick - with a cold (big deal), but her sickness is clearly made up. She is still saying she has the winter vomiting bug however I looked it up on NHS 24 and it only lasts forty eight hours and she has supposedly had it for three weeks. She can't stand the fact that someone else will get more attention then her so her illness has to be worse. I have had enough and I don't want to play nice anymore.
I have also found out that she has told dad that she wants no contact with him anymore. He is thrilled but she couldn't do it without accusing him of some horrible things.
My prediction for the new year is that she will try to pick a fight with me and turn my sisters against me. It is now time to wait and see
Friday, 28 December 2012
A Surprisingly Normal Christmas
Now usually my family can't go through a holiday or special event without some form of crisis, trauma or fight but this year seems to be the exception to the rule. We actually made it through Christmas without any of the above.
Christmas morning Twin and I had breakfast (bacon and cheese muffins - thanks Twin) and headed to Mums. She is waiting at her door but is not allowed to touch us or come too close because of the imaginary winter vomiting bug but has thoughtfully put our presents in bin bags for us to pick up. We leave hers and pick up ours and head back home. We then have to skype her to open the stuff where she can see.
Skype goes ok apart from the few times we have to duck out of shot to try not to laugh or make faces with one small flaw. This should have taken 30 minutes max however an hour later we are still on. Mum is doing her usual talking forever about things she has repeatedly told us before or things that we do not want to know. It is always difficult to get her to stop as even when you can get a word in she will still continue even when you tell her that she has told you before or ask her to stop. She finally gets off and we get on with the tasks we need to do before heading to dad's for dinner. The presents aren't great as she didn't ask what we wanted but got what she thought we would like - she never gets this right as she doesn't really want to know about our life just to control it. There are a few things that we like however.
10 minutes after getting off Skype she is back on the phone to Twin asking her to get some shopping for her tomorrow. Twin says no and there is still no major falling out.
We go off to Dads for Christmas lunch and have a good time. Dad out did himself this year. I think he and Girlfriend also liked gifts we got them.
Big Sis shows up with littlest niece and Boyfriend and stays for half an hour. There are no fights and Big Sis and Girlfriend seem to tolerate each other.
Twin and I head home for a night of Christmas TV. Mum phones in the middle of Doctor Who but Twin tells her she will call back when its over. Twin calls back and talks for 10 minutes but comes away not knowing what mum wanted. Mum then calls me. She wants to know if I don't want to be her contact for phone-link. These are the people who call her every morning to make sure she has taken her meds (which she is not taking) and that she is ok. She put me down as her contact without my permission. I tell her that I don't want to be and she hangs up. Sounds quite grumpy about it. Don't know who she will have now but if she puts Jeni down there will be trouble.
No more contact that night. Slight issue the next when at the panto. I had unfriended her on facebook when we had the huge fight and hadn't re added her. Well she found out and was apparently hurt. Big Sis had texted me to tell me and asked me to add her back on. I dutifully did and was expecting trouble about it but got none.
The only other issue is that Mum has no unfriended Dad's Girlfriend on Facebook. No idea why and Girlfriend is not bothered about it but may lead to upcoming drama.
So that was it - Christmas with no trauma, drama or fights
Very very unusual
Well there is still the New Year to come!
Christmas morning Twin and I had breakfast (bacon and cheese muffins - thanks Twin) and headed to Mums. She is waiting at her door but is not allowed to touch us or come too close because of the imaginary winter vomiting bug but has thoughtfully put our presents in bin bags for us to pick up. We leave hers and pick up ours and head back home. We then have to skype her to open the stuff where she can see.
Skype goes ok apart from the few times we have to duck out of shot to try not to laugh or make faces with one small flaw. This should have taken 30 minutes max however an hour later we are still on. Mum is doing her usual talking forever about things she has repeatedly told us before or things that we do not want to know. It is always difficult to get her to stop as even when you can get a word in she will still continue even when you tell her that she has told you before or ask her to stop. She finally gets off and we get on with the tasks we need to do before heading to dad's for dinner. The presents aren't great as she didn't ask what we wanted but got what she thought we would like - she never gets this right as she doesn't really want to know about our life just to control it. There are a few things that we like however.
10 minutes after getting off Skype she is back on the phone to Twin asking her to get some shopping for her tomorrow. Twin says no and there is still no major falling out.
We go off to Dads for Christmas lunch and have a good time. Dad out did himself this year. I think he and Girlfriend also liked gifts we got them.
Big Sis shows up with littlest niece and Boyfriend and stays for half an hour. There are no fights and Big Sis and Girlfriend seem to tolerate each other.
Twin and I head home for a night of Christmas TV. Mum phones in the middle of Doctor Who but Twin tells her she will call back when its over. Twin calls back and talks for 10 minutes but comes away not knowing what mum wanted. Mum then calls me. She wants to know if I don't want to be her contact for phone-link. These are the people who call her every morning to make sure she has taken her meds (which she is not taking) and that she is ok. She put me down as her contact without my permission. I tell her that I don't want to be and she hangs up. Sounds quite grumpy about it. Don't know who she will have now but if she puts Jeni down there will be trouble.
No more contact that night. Slight issue the next when at the panto. I had unfriended her on facebook when we had the huge fight and hadn't re added her. Well she found out and was apparently hurt. Big Sis had texted me to tell me and asked me to add her back on. I dutifully did and was expecting trouble about it but got none.
The only other issue is that Mum has no unfriended Dad's Girlfriend on Facebook. No idea why and Girlfriend is not bothered about it but may lead to upcoming drama.
So that was it - Christmas with no trauma, drama or fights
Very very unusual
Well there is still the New Year to come!
Monday, 24 December 2012
Christmas with my mother - or not
Its the week before Christmas and still mum hasn't arranged with us if we are to see her or not.
She has been texting a lot and they are pretty mad texts but we have been mostly ignoring them or just giving short answers and not pandering to her.
Yesterday Twin recieves a text from mum - can you call me when it is convienient we need to arrange Christmas (only 2 days to go).
Twin calls and it turns out mum is still insisting she has winter vomiting bug. She has this bug but can stay on the phone to big sis for over an hour with no symptoms. Because of the made up sickness mum cannot see us on Christmas (I am cheering at this point - thanks Santa)
What we are going to do is go to her house on Christmas morning and there will be black bin bags (yep are presents are in bin bags) which we can pick up and leave hers. She will not touch us or breathe on us or anything -now if we can only get her to not talk to us.
Then we go back to the house and skype her so she can see us opening our presents.
So we get our presents and barely have to see her - this works for me.
We also have to get the presents Big Sis left with mum and then bring them to dads so she can see us opening them. Note to Big Sis - never leave anything at mums.
So Christmas is all arranged. However mum thinks it is necessary to text me multiple times to confirm. She has forgotten I am at work ( I only told her 7 or 8 times) and when I tell her she wants to make a new law that nice people don't have to work Christmas. More text ramblings each followed by xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (more than 3 is the sign of a disturbed mind). I end up not replying any more - the last one I couldn't have replied to any way. However it does not bode well for tomorrow or the rest of the christmas period.
However this means mimimal Christmas contact with mum (only the usual 3 or 4 calls) and then I can ignore her for the rest of the year.
She has been texting a lot and they are pretty mad texts but we have been mostly ignoring them or just giving short answers and not pandering to her.
Yesterday Twin recieves a text from mum - can you call me when it is convienient we need to arrange Christmas (only 2 days to go).
Twin calls and it turns out mum is still insisting she has winter vomiting bug. She has this bug but can stay on the phone to big sis for over an hour with no symptoms. Because of the made up sickness mum cannot see us on Christmas (I am cheering at this point - thanks Santa)
What we are going to do is go to her house on Christmas morning and there will be black bin bags (yep are presents are in bin bags) which we can pick up and leave hers. She will not touch us or breathe on us or anything -now if we can only get her to not talk to us.
Then we go back to the house and skype her so she can see us opening our presents.
So we get our presents and barely have to see her - this works for me.
We also have to get the presents Big Sis left with mum and then bring them to dads so she can see us opening them. Note to Big Sis - never leave anything at mums.
So Christmas is all arranged. However mum thinks it is necessary to text me multiple times to confirm. She has forgotten I am at work ( I only told her 7 or 8 times) and when I tell her she wants to make a new law that nice people don't have to work Christmas. More text ramblings each followed by xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (more than 3 is the sign of a disturbed mind). I end up not replying any more - the last one I couldn't have replied to any way. However it does not bode well for tomorrow or the rest of the christmas period.
However this means mimimal Christmas contact with mum (only the usual 3 or 4 calls) and then I can ignore her for the rest of the year.
The Nightmare Before Christmas - Part 3
So far it looks like there is no way we will be seeing mum this Christmas. Thursday evening I get a call from Big Sis on the way home from work. Mum has been at her for 2 days straight. She is not manic she does have winter vomiting bug we are all evil horrible daughters. Eventually she agrees to talk to Mum's doctor. Speaks to doctor who says that mum has a virus (although he hasn't seen her being sick or having the runs) and that he knows mum really well (only seen her twice before) and she is not manic.
Big sis is annoyed at doctor but says we can no longer claim moral high ground. We agree she will text us all and ask for truce.
This message goes out to the three of you and applies to me too! I am not prepared for the women of this family to fall out. Accept that things were said that shouldn't have been said, accept that not one of us is perfect. Ask yourself what part did I play in this. What can I do to make it better? I am calling a truce...There will be no tears and no rewriting history or blame casting... Wer all need to pull together. We are all hurting but I don't care. " Fake it till you make it"
Twin texts - As Big Sis says a truce would be best under the terms outlined no blame no recriminations etc. Lets move on shall we.
I text - I agree with Twin and Big Sis its time to move on and forget.
Mum - ok
Within the hour she has called Big Sis that she will only agree a truce if Big Sisagrees that mum wasn't manic. Big Sis tells her to F off and die. Truce over. Twin and I start to make plans to liberate the kids presents from her house.
Next day mum is full of apologies and the truce is back on.
Within a day she is texting to ask me to do things for her - so far I have refused nicely.
Nightmare Before Christmas appears to be over but there is always time for things to go wrong.
Big sis is annoyed at doctor but says we can no longer claim moral high ground. We agree she will text us all and ask for truce.
This message goes out to the three of you and applies to me too! I am not prepared for the women of this family to fall out. Accept that things were said that shouldn't have been said, accept that not one of us is perfect. Ask yourself what part did I play in this. What can I do to make it better? I am calling a truce...There will be no tears and no rewriting history or blame casting... Wer all need to pull together. We are all hurting but I don't care. " Fake it till you make it"
Twin texts - As Big Sis says a truce would be best under the terms outlined no blame no recriminations etc. Lets move on shall we.
I text - I agree with Twin and Big Sis its time to move on and forget.
Mum - ok
Within the hour she has called Big Sis that she will only agree a truce if Big Sisagrees that mum wasn't manic. Big Sis tells her to F off and die. Truce over. Twin and I start to make plans to liberate the kids presents from her house.
Next day mum is full of apologies and the truce is back on.
Within a day she is texting to ask me to do things for her - so far I have refused nicely.
Nightmare Before Christmas appears to be over but there is always time for things to go wrong.
The Nightmare Before Christmas - Part 2
So after the horrendous phone call mum calls a few more times. I ignore her and so does Twin. Big Sis phones to find out what happened and I explain and she said she has pretty much had the same. We are all really angry.
Here nothing for a day but then on Sunday when we were at Darling Dads I get a call from Big Sis. Had I heard anything from mum what were we going to do etc. Can't really think of anything but big sis says she will talk to her and try and get her to get help.
Within minutes of her hanging up mum texts me and the Twin. One work text 'help'
I text no and the Twin texts why should we help you after the treatment we have had.
No response but Big Sis phones again and says she is trying to get her to get treatment but is being ignored. Twin texts her and tries to get her to go to the doctor but no joy as she is refusing to admit she is sick. I am so upset I cannot finish my dinner.
Hear nothing further till Tuesday then we get a call from Big Sis asking if mum has called us about nanny coming. Turns out my grandma is still coming for Christmas and mum expects us to pick her up from the station even though she has never asked. Mum has also been saying she is sick and has the noro virus (article on the news that morning). Mum eventually calls Twin to ask and Twin agrees but says she doesn't think Nanny should come. Mum in super saccharine voice says - oh you believe I am sick (winter vomiting bug). Twin says no too mentally ill to have her. Mum is not pleased. Mum has already tried to put Nanny off but says Uncle says she has to come.
Twin and Big Sis agree to try and put Nanny off and Twin sends a message to Uncle to ask him to call her. Uncle does call but says mum has already agreed that Nanny is not coming.
Mum has also told Uncle it is Twin who has mental health problems. We find this out later by text from Big Sis. Twin is very upset and never wants to see mum again.
Upshot is Nanny no longer coming for Christmas. Twin and I not speaking to mum. Big Sis worried Christmas is cancelled.
Here nothing for a day but then on Sunday when we were at Darling Dads I get a call from Big Sis. Had I heard anything from mum what were we going to do etc. Can't really think of anything but big sis says she will talk to her and try and get her to get help.
Within minutes of her hanging up mum texts me and the Twin. One work text 'help'
I text no and the Twin texts why should we help you after the treatment we have had.
No response but Big Sis phones again and says she is trying to get her to get treatment but is being ignored. Twin texts her and tries to get her to go to the doctor but no joy as she is refusing to admit she is sick. I am so upset I cannot finish my dinner.
Hear nothing further till Tuesday then we get a call from Big Sis asking if mum has called us about nanny coming. Turns out my grandma is still coming for Christmas and mum expects us to pick her up from the station even though she has never asked. Mum has also been saying she is sick and has the noro virus (article on the news that morning). Mum eventually calls Twin to ask and Twin agrees but says she doesn't think Nanny should come. Mum in super saccharine voice says - oh you believe I am sick (winter vomiting bug). Twin says no too mentally ill to have her. Mum is not pleased. Mum has already tried to put Nanny off but says Uncle says she has to come.
Twin and Big Sis agree to try and put Nanny off and Twin sends a message to Uncle to ask him to call her. Uncle does call but says mum has already agreed that Nanny is not coming.
Mum has also told Uncle it is Twin who has mental health problems. We find this out later by text from Big Sis. Twin is very upset and never wants to see mum again.
Upshot is Nanny no longer coming for Christmas. Twin and I not speaking to mum. Big Sis worried Christmas is cancelled.
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